Friday, August 15, 2014

I have become a mass murderer.

I occasionally have moments of brilliance. Moments when the perfect post pops into my head and I feel that "ah ha" moment happening.
These moments happen in the middle of the night, or in the middle of some other activity, when I cannot access my computer. 
I must apologize to all of you for cheating you out of these brilliant moments.
Meanwhile I will recount a little tid bit that just happened.
I was minding my own business the other day when I heard a muffled growl. I went into the kitchen, where the sound came from and saw, to my horror, what had happened.
My middle son was wildly attacking my counter with his SHOE!
upon closer inspection I joined him.
We had been invaded! They were everywhere! Tiny little bodies flew as we smacked and attacked! 
We didn't give any quarter. I heard one little voice scream 
"Spare the old and the children! Have mercy!"
I laughed like a mad woman and beat that voice down. 
We had to change our strategy. There were to many of them. 
Kyle pulled the fridge and oven out and I grabbed the broom while he grabbed the death sentence for our visiting tyrants.
Sugar Ants went still as the bug spray killed hundreds maybe even thousands.
I swept them up as quickly as he killed them, only slipping once in the mess as I shooed the dogs and other kids away.
As we annihilated an entire colony of ants I had a moment of pity for the lives I had helped take. No worries it only lasted a split second. I saw one we missed and finished that little creep off too.
That my friends is how I became a mass murderer. 

13 comments:

  1. I shudder as I recall our one ant invasion. Big 'uns, straight in from the woods. Ugh....

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  2. They should have known not to mess with you!!

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  3. Mrs. C hates them, even when we get just a few. I have to spray outside every couple of weeks to keep them out.

    My mom just ignored them. "They're just sugar ants, they don't eat much" as she thumbed them into oblivion.

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  4. I once spent a few days in Spain when I woke up in the middle of the night in my hotel room because a couple of ants had found their way into my bed. I switched on the light and I noticed the wall on my left moving... A thousand ants! So I did what I had to do: I set them all on fire. Yep, I'm guilty too. Plus I have no inspiration, so I guess we're more or less on the same page. Plus we're both incredibly beautiful. (Of course.)

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    1. ;) Sleep tight. Don't let the bed-ants bite...

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    2. incredibly beautiful mass murderers you two :)

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  5. You know, I wasn't sure what to expect when I saw the title of this post, but that was hilarious. Ants are such a headache, but I'm glad you were able to find the humor in such a frustrating situation... :)

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  6. OMG...I apologize for laughing! What a pain...

    My son once left an open container of Peeps in the pantry and attracted an army of sugar ants. I remember squashing tons of them. AND I told my son if he ever left an open Peeps package in the pantry, he would encounter a similar fate as the ants.

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  7. I think we used something called Taro or Karo but its been years since we were attacked. I also below to the school of take no quarter....

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  8. Sugar ants are the worst! This is the first year I have encountered them. I too take pleasure in squishing them. I guess we can share a cell in bug squishing jail. :)

    I call top bunk!!!!

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  9. We fight them every year.
    During wet years the exterminator blames it on the all the rain.
    During the dry years he blames it on lack of rain.
    So I got my own sprayer and I let it rain.

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  10. Looks like you had a pretty good teamwork! The Ants never saw it coming!

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