I got an email about things to do when I retire. Now technically I am retired as the government says I can no longer work. That's annoying. So here are some idea's for those of you in retirement currently or for when you get there eventually. I've already done some of these and they are very funny. I added my own comments, and a few of my favorite things to do when I am bored.
How To Maintain A Healthy
Level Of sanity in retirement
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With
Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing
Cars...watch 'em Slow Down!
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Have not done this but I want to.
2. On all your check stubs, write 'For Marijuana'!
To bad I don't use checks anymore.
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3. Skip down the street Rather Than Walk and
see how many looks you get.
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Done and done.
4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,
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Done and done again. The waitress look was hilarious my husbands reaction was better. Went something like "Uh babe. There's no such thing." HIs face was so serious. sigh.
5. Sing Along At The Opera.
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Does a play count? If so I've done this.
6. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM,
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At the clinic on base they call your number when it's time to pick up your medications. I yelled out Bingo! and waved my ticket around as I ran to the counter. My husband did not find this amusing.
7. When Leaving the Zoo, start Running towards the
Parking Lot , Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
Have not done this but it seems like a fun idea.
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8. Tell Your Children over dinner: 'Due to the
economy, we are going to have to let one of you go...'
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Planning on doing this one as soon as I can get my whole family together for one freakin meal.
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of
9. Go to a large Department store’s fitting room,
drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out:
“THERE IS NO PAPER IN HERE”
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You can also go to an outdoors store and climb in a tent. When people walk by tell them they can come in but they have to get there own sleeping bags.
Also you can climb in the racks at Walmart and when people are looking at the clothes you can say in a weird voice.
"You don't want to buy that."
Watch them jump. Pretty funny.
Another one is to pick up random items and drop them in peoples carts when they are not looking. The bigger the better.
Sing and dance down store aisle and invite people to join you.
As you pass cars on the freeway start licking the window.
There are many other fun things to amuse yourselves. If you need idea's this is my forte. I don't have many talents but this is my strong suit. Yes I do get bored easily. Have fun.
Tony and I keep our money separate, but obviously we file taxes together. The entire refund goes into my accounts (since I do them) and then I write him a check for his half.
ReplyDeleteOne year I wrote "For a fantastic weekend XOXO" in the memo line.
The following year I wrote "For Services Rendered in the Bedroom"
Like Phil, he also was not amused. :)
(This becomes even funnier when you think these checks were for over $3K each.) HA!!
DeleteI'm keeping diet water in my repertoire.
ReplyDeleteYour list is full of fun and good times. It reminds me of my childhood, full of naughty mishaps.
ReplyDeleteSome of the things would have gotten me in trouble though.
Hahahaha...
ReplyDeleteYou know how they write your name on the cup when you get a coffee at Starbucks? Next time they ask me my name, I'm telling them "Jake from State Farm."
Several times my husband has walked in to the kitchen while I've been talking on the phone after 9pm... when he asks, I ALWAYS say "Jake from State Farm"... it cracks who ever I'm talking to up... especially when he says "Well, she sounds hideous."
DeleteA Diet Water... See, now I need to go to a restaurant.... 'I Won! I Won!' I'll definitely do that today!
ReplyDeleteI love it. The thing is though when you reach a certain age people begin to think your showing the normal signs of aging dementia.....;)
ReplyDeletei am temporarily retired - and blogging is my amusement. :)
ReplyDeleteWhile working i like working but now i am not working and i like this life now than working.
ReplyDelete