My mother in law passed.

Sorry for the delay. My mother in law did pass on Wednesday and it has been a rough go of it. I'm emotionally drained as I try and keep everyone calm and yet letting them deal with their emotions. 
I have never been good with death. I don't know what to say or how to act. I don't think anything you can say or do takes away the pain and sorrow. It's crushing, suffocating, and over all the worst loss anyone can go through. 
Meanwhile, I have not been able to grieve myself. It sounds odd but I need to. She was an amazing woman and the best mother in law I could ask for. She didn't get in our business or try to tell us what to do. She just listened and offered a shoulder. She never spoke harshly of others, even when they did her wrong. 
Yesterday we had a get together with the family. We had lunch then everyone sat around and talked. Except for myself and one of my sister in laws. The two of us went to work on her garden and flowers. I trimmed and tied roses, when we cleaned out flower beds and pulled weeds. She has more plants than a nursery so we had to be careful we didn't pull flowers. 
It might seem an odd thing to do but had she been with us that is what she would have been doing, and so we felt it was our way of honoring her. 
When we finished, we looked at each other and smiled. It just felt right. 
Anyway I will get back to all of you. Thank you for staying around although I am a horrible blogger friend.